Fer Sure
by Versk
Summary: Standing outside, Deidara told himself not to do anything stupid. But the promise soon disappeared as he entered the home and stepped into the scene. Alternate Universe. TobiDei


**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Naruto_. _Naruto_ and all its affiliations (including, but not limited to: it's characters, objects, places, and events) are owned by Masashi Kishimoto.

**Author's Note:** This is an alternate universe fan-fiction, meaning some details about characters have been altered. Inspired by the song "Fer Sure" by The Medic Droid.

* * *

As the doorbell rang and voices hushed then rose, he told himself under a soft breath, "Don't do anything stupid." And, of course, once the door opened and he saw the tan face of Sasori greet him with a small smile all thoughts of what _not _to do vanished from his mind completely. No more thinking of the future. Time to be here now.

"Hey Saso!" Deidara put out a fist, expecting the other boy to knock it with his own fist. But instead Sasori's hazel eyes narrowed in irritation.

"Don't call me that," he hissed over the music playing in the background. Sasori stepped back and waved his arm for Deidara to enter. As he entered, he almost ran back out. The house was stuffed with other teenagers from school, some sitting on the carpeted staircase before the entrance, some dodging in and out of door-less rooms, and some standing in the hallway chatting, holding cups full of soda and—guessing from the color—apple juice. His sapphire eyes glanced around for a familiar face to find security in. But almost everyone he saw he already knew.

"Take off your shoes, 'kay? I don't wanna hafta clean up any mud after this is over." Sasori's voice cut into Deidara's thoughts and he nodded without even realizing what the redhead had said. Thankfully when Sasori took the small step separating the square wood flooring around the front door from the rest of the house—most of it covered in white carpet—his eyes caught Sasori's shoeless feet and the piles of other shoes already there.

After tossing in his own black pair of tennies, Deidara walked over the threshold and into the scene. As he did a few heads turned and stared at him. Their eyes pierced him and he suddenly felt as though everyone was staring at him, even after the onlookers turned back to conversations.

A drink—that's what he needed. A drink to steady the nerves. Calm down, he thought. And with a quick inhale then exhale of breath he felt ready to be the center of attention.

His crystal blue eyes scanned the rooms as he traveled to the kitchen. He wasn't exactly looking for someone specific—any person would do fine—but in the back of his mind there was one in particular he felt concerned about. Unfortunately he did not see "the one."

About a dozen kids stood around in the kitchen, crowding around two individuals seated at the center island. From what he could hear of the conversation, most of them were trying to coax a dark-haired boy into participating in a contest.

"Come on don't be such a wuss!" one blond-haired girl with empty, baby blue eyes whined, shaking the boy's shoulder.

"Look, if I don't wanna do it, there's nothing you can say that'll change my mind!"

The crowd around let out a long groan. As it ended the boy's challenger, a spiky-haired kid wearing a bright orange sweatshirt seated at the table across from him, folded his arms and nodded. "So I guess the rumors are true!" he shouted in a puberty-stricken, raspy voice.

Sasuke looked up and glared at him. "You really _were _raised by chickens!" Naruto pointed to Sasuke's head, which sported a hairstyle very similar to the posterior of said creature. A round of snickers echoed through the group.

Dark eyes dodging from smiling face to smiling face, Sasuke gave a sigh and, grumbling, accepted the challenge. "But don't think I'll be easy to beat, Pineapple Head!"

Without even realizing it Deidara became a spectator. He watched eagerly as a girl with four pigtails brought over and settled two cans in front of the boys. Suddenly Deidara knew what kind of apple juice it was he'd seen earlier.

The boys grabbed the cans and, while fans gathered behind them, stared at each other with fire in their eyes as they waited for the "Go" from Ino, the blond girl from before. But before he could watch the contest commence, Deidara had to subdue his curiosity and confirm the identity of those cans.

"Go!" Ino squealed, slamming her hand down on the granite table.

Deidara stepped away from the crowd, no longer interested in the game, and made a beeline for the one who brought Naruto and Sasuke the drinks. Unfortunately, the girl was preoccupied with supplying more cans for the drinking contest. Deidara watched her go back and forth without a word, his eyes glued to her determined smirk. His eyes then drifted to where she kept getting the drinks: an open cooler.

As Temari picked up two more cans, one in each hand, and headed for the table, Deidara stepped forward and took one. The ice-cold aluminum numbed his hand. A few seconds passed before his brain finally registered the brand of drink labeled on the can: beer.

No surprise. Sasori's parents said they would be gone for the whole weekend. A prime time to host a party and become one of the most popular kids in school. Sasori that…Deidara failed to think of a word perfect enough to describe the person behind the scheme. Pretty damn funny.

"What's going on in here?"

Temari stopped mid-step and stared, along with half the people in the room, like a deer in the headlights as Sasori entered the kitchen. Sasuke and Naruto, meanwhile, kept chugging down alcohol.

A strange, awkward moment passed before a toothy smile broke on Temari's face. "Just having a little fun." She shook the can closest to Sasori. Crushed ice clinging to the smooth surface fell to the floor.

Sasori shrugged his shoulders and sighed. "You better pay me back for this," he warned as he walked forward and ripped the can from Temari's hand. He opened it and headed back out the way he'd come.

As soon as his back was turned to her, Temari reached for another beer and slammed the cans onto the table just in time for the contestants to start their third round. Meanwhile Deidara, can still in hand, quickly followed after Sasori. It was hard to keep up with him despite his shorter stature, but eventually Deidara managed to stop him.

"Since when do you drink?" Deidara asked him incredulously, eyes shifting to the beer can as Sasori turned to face him. Sasori frowned. His calm, serene eyes glittered with rare interest as he beheld the inside of Deidara's agape mouth.

"Since when do you have a tongue piercing?" he snapped with equal ferocity. Smirking, Deidara leaned back and stuck out a swollen tongue for Sasori to get a better look.

"Dude I can't believe you fucking did that!" Both turned as Hidan approached, his face brimming with excitement. Deidara's grin expanded.

"You like?" he asked, then cocked an eyebrow at the shady figure hobbling behind Hidan.

"Yeah! Did it hurt?" Deidara nodded.

"Like hell."

"Excuse me," Sasori intervened. "Who are you?" He pointed to the person looming over Hidan.

After staring dumbfounded for five seconds, Hidan finally glanced over his shoulder and, with a sigh, introduced the other. "Kakuzu. You know? That exchange kid?" The two nodded, finally recognizing the teenager under the black cap and bandana.

Sighing again Hidan rubbed the back of his neck then threw his arms over his head and continued. "I kinda…sorta…"

"Lost a bet," Kakuzu finished.

"Yeah," Hidan said slowly, lowering his arms and casting a glare at the other. "And he won't fucking leave me alone 'till I pay him back!"

"With interest."

"Oi!" Hidan whipped around and poked Kakuzu hard in the chest. "You cheated, okay? He freakin' used his foreign muteness to play dumb so we'd go easy on him."

"We?" Sasori crossed his arms.

"Me and Kiba."

"Only, Kiba Inuzuka has already paid me back," Kakuzu pointed out.

Deidara felt inclined to bite the head of his barbell piercing as the argument continued. Hidan explained the challenge to Sasori, who asked how he could be dumb enough to challenge someone as tall as Kakuzu to a basketball game. Using his "foreign muteness," as Hidan put it, Kakuzu faked not having a clue how the game worked. But despite the conversation being right in front of him, with Hidan yelling half the time, Deidara barely recalled anything discussed before coming back to reality after tasting blood. He quickly stopped playing with his new piercing.

"So when are you going to pay him back?"

"Prob'ly Monday if I'm lucky. That's when I get my paycheck."

"Only it'll be forty dollars instead of twenty," Kakuzu said.

"Jeez! You wanna take my fucking _car _while you're at it?"

"If it'll pay the debt," Deidara murmured under his breath, managing to fight off a grin. The smirk soon vanished as Hidan turned back to him.

"Hey you gonna drink that or what?"

"Hmm?" Deidara perked up. Hidan pointed to the unopened beer can in Deidara's hand. "Oh! Yeah." He'd forgotten all about it. With a quick glance to Sasori, who chose that moment to finish off his own beer, Deidara opened the can and took a long swig of alcohol.

He'd had beer before, so the slight burning sensation as it traveled across his tongue and down his throat was nothing new. For some reason, beer always tasted kind of like mineral water to him. As the wheat-based liquid swished around his piercing, mixing with the small amount of blood still there, the area around the punctured muscle started to sting. But it was a good sting.

"You sure you should be drinking that stuff?" Hidan asked.

Deidara gulped down the drink and came up for air. "Yeah. The guy said I should have cold drinks to keep down the swelling."

"Uh-huh." Hidan nodded slowly, feigning interest. "When you get that anyway?"

"Just yesterday afternoon."

"You're kidding me!" Hidan yelled, almost hitting Kakuzu in the stomach as he leaned forward, thrusting his arms backward. "Have your folks found out yet? Don't you need, you know, their permission?"

"Tch!" Deidara twisted his head to the side. "You kidding? I'm almost nineteen. I can do whatever the hell I want."

"You're nineteen?"

"Will be in a few months."

"You look younger than that," Kakuzu commented, making Deidara stare blankly at his half-covered face. He cringed slightly. Kakuzu didn't exactly look the friendly type—a black bandana, cap, and ever-present scowl covered his tan face, not to mention he stood nearly six feet tall and always sounded on the brink of annoyance.

"Thanks," Deidara finally managed.

"But at least you don't look as young as our little Sassy, do ya?" Hidan grinned, chuckling and rubbing the top of Sasori's red head. Deidara had to bite back a smirk as "little Sassy" punched Hidan hard in the stomach, making him double over in pain and leaving him gasping for breath. With whispered curses now streaming through the air, Deidara decided to go grab another beverage before they all disappeared.

"You guys want any?" he asked the other three. Sasori shook his head while Hidan, finally catching his breath, nodded. Kakuzu did as well.

By the time Deidara got into the kitchen only a handful of beers remained in the cooler as Sasuke and Naruto finished their sixth round. Their contest had attracted more eager spectators who cheered as one of them slammed down an empty can.

When Deidara returned to the hallway, Sasori was nowhere to be seen. He handed Kakuzu and Hidan each a beer then asked about Sasori's whereabouts.

"He went to go hang out with that Sakura chick." Hidan jerked his thumb over his shoulder.

Deidara merely grunted and opened the beer can to take a long sip.

"Yeah. I thought he was dating that other redhead."

"You mean Tayuya?" Hidan nodded. "Naw. Sasori and Tayuya broke up a few days ago."

"Yeesh! Boy works fast." Deidara nodded and stared blankly into the can opening. Only on his second can, it wouldn't be long before the alcohol started to kick in. Usually it happened after the fourth or fifth, but it varied. Which meant his conscience still had time to kick in, as it did that second.

Did he really want to get drunk tonight, it pondered? The promise he made standing outside came back to him. _Don't do anything stupid. _Fuck it, he thought, and took another swig.

A tumult erupted in the kitchen, cheers and boos echoing in the crowded room. Deidara nearly spat up the beer still in his mouth. "The hell—?" All three scrambled down the hall to check what had caused all the commotion. Naruto stood proudly with his hands in the air while Sasuke grumbled with his head on the table. The blondie'd won.

Without skipping a beat two more kids took the drunken teens' spots. Ino slammed a hand down on the table, yelled out "Go!" in the same shrill, excited voice, and another drinking contest commenced. Deidara had to wonder, just where the hell did Sasori get all this booze? Thinking this, he finished off his second can and grabbed a third.

Deidara left the kitchen and went back to where he, Sasori, Kakuzu, and Hidan first met up. Unfortunately Kakuzu and Hidan weren't there. They were probably still in the kitchen watching the two underage boys drink their minds away. Deidara headed back into the kitchen but, try as he might, could not spot either Kakuzu or Hidan. He was alone. Again.

Soon his third beer can emptied and he began a fourth. Half-way through the alcohol started taking affect. He felt lightheaded and a dull pain throbbed just behind his eyes. Not exactly a headache but close to one. Only instead of being an annoyance, the alcohol coursing through him morphed the pain into a masochistic desire. Deidara greeted the pain and welcomed it with open arms as he finished off the fourth beer can and reached for a fifth.

By now the ruckus of the kitchen's beer drinking contest had attracted enough people to make standing in the kitchen and not bumping into anyone an almost impossible task. So, taking his drink with him, Deidara exited the room, choosing to go through a different opening than the one he'd used beforehand. This hallway, unlike the other, held only two people. Halfway down the hall was a large gap in the wall opening to a room filled with half a dozen kids watching the big screen TV. Other than the football game airing at nearly ten o' clock at night, there was nothing interesting to catch Deidara's eye. But something did catch his eye, and he soon paid for the mistake of watching a spiky black head instead of what was right in front of him.

Deidara suddenly collided with a tall, dark body. As he recoiled he lost grip of the full beer can in his hand. Beer spilled all over the front of his black and white striped hoodie and blue jeans. The near-empty can fell softly onto the white carpet and emptied the small remainder of its contents. Deidara cursed hoarsely and stared dumbfounded at the mess. "You son of a—" As Deidara lifted his gaze to see who had run into him, his eyes seemed to simultaneously expand and crumple into a hate-filled glare.

"The hell are you doing here?"

"I was invited here." Itachi checked to make sure no liquor now stained his own clothes. Thankfully only Deidara and the carpet seemed to be wearing any.

The Uchiha took a step forward and knelt down to pick up the fallen beer can. As he did, Deidara stepped back and followed the dark head to rediscover a stained pair of jeans. His lips pulled back in a grimace. He swore again.

"Aren't you a little young to be drinking?" Deidara whipped back to Itachi, who now stood examining the beer can.

With a small growl the blond ripped the can out of Itachi's grasp, nearly scratching him in the process. "None of your damn business!"

Itachi took this as his cue to leave and calmly stepped passed the fuming blond. "Hey!" Deidara spun around and pointed an accusing finger at Itachi's back. The Uchiha turned his body ninety degrees, enough to see the younger but still hold a dominance in the situation. This only proved in intensifying Deidara's annoyance. "Where the hell do you think you're going!" Deidara shouted, morphing his outstretched hand into a fist and swinging it through the air to come rest at his side.

"To find my brother," Itachi replied with the same calm air as he always possessed, not the least perturbed by the show of force. "I believe he's taken part in a contest he really shouldn't have. Why? Do you need something?"

Deidara smirked. He stood straight and rested a hand on his hip. "Yeah. Before you go to pick up Sauce-Cake," he said with a sarcastic air, "don't you think _you should apologize first?!_" The mildly calm tone turned coarser and angrier as the sentence continued, until that sarcastic smile turned into a deep frown.

"What for?" Itachi blinked innocently. "What have I done which calls for an apology?"

"What do you think?" Deidara yelled. Any heads that hadn't turned already to watch the argument now did. Even those in the kitchen were intrigued enough by the screaming to stop the contest and watch. "You fucking walked right into me! And look what you did," he gestured to the darkened fabric covering his stomach and thighs.

Itachi stared at the mess for about half a second. "Perhaps you're the one who should be apologizing, Deidara. Had you been mindful of where you were going, this incident would never have occurred. If you are certain you are mature enough to drink alcohol, then you should start acting like it. Take responsibility for your actions and don't put the blame on someone who's done nothing wrong. Now," he bowed slightly, "if you'll excuse me."

Induced by both the alcohol and boiling rage inside him, Deidara leapt forward with a fist held ready behind him just as Sasori, accompanied by a pink-haired girl, entered the hall. "What's going on here?" Sasori shouted as Deidara's fist pounded into the small of Itachi's back. The Uchiha yelped and stumbled forward while his upper half arched backward. Deidara held an aching fist and stared dumbfounded at the shocked redhead.

Save for the pop music playing from the stereo and the cheers and whistles emanating from the TV, nothing made a sound. Finally, with a sigh, Sasori stepped up to Deidara and looked him in the eye. "Leave!"

Deidara pulled back, stunned. "What? Why?"

"Because I don't want people picking fights in my house!"

Deidara quickly pointed to Itachi. "But he's the one—"

"I don't fucking care who started it!" Sasori grabbed Deidara's wrist and forced the hand onto the blonde's chest. "I know how short your temper is, Deidara," he rasped in a threatening whisper. "And I don't want any other guests getting hurt because you can't count to ten and shut up!" He shoved Deidara away. "Now get out!"

But Deidara didn't listen. At least not for the first few seconds. While the onlookers watched with baited breath, the small frown on Deidara's face slid into a smirk. "What fucking red wood you got stuck up your ass now, eh?" he asked, lifting his head. He chuckled—the alcohol was starting to affect his judgment. "Funny. You didn't seem so eager for me to leave when I had my dick shoved up your ass."

Sasori's solemn eyes expanded beyond measure. Had it not been for a powerful resolve and control of temper, he may very well have beaten Deidara to a pulp right then and there. But instead he just glared and let the hollowness of his eyes drill into Deidara's soul and burn it in a boiling pot fueled by the detest he now felt. "Get! Out!"

Deidara smiled, shrugged, and turned to leave feeling victorious. Sakura trotted to Sasori's side, her pink miniskirt swishing lightly as she moved. "Sasori!" she whined, hand shaking his shoulder. "You can't just let him go out like that."

Sasori gave her a look like she was crazy, until she pointed out the uneasiness in Deidara's step and rosy cheeks. "Deidara's drunk," he announced after an aggravated sigh. Deidara stopped dead but kept his back to Sasori. "Someone drive him home so he doesn't crash into a light pole." He stopped himself from adding any sarcastic remarks.

It didn't seem anyone wanted to be near the blond, especially since one could practically _see _fury steaming off him. The house remained silent until someone chirped, "I'll do it!" Out of the TV room came a tall, darkly clad teenager with spiked ebony hair waving an arm.

"You sure Tobi?"

The boy nodded. "Sure I'm sure. Besides," he smiled, "I'm probably the only designated driver here!" He said this proudly, as if not having had a drop of liquor called for some award or praise.

Sasori still showed signs of suspicion. "But I thought you lived—"

"I live right down the street from him," he lied. "So no big!"

"'Kay," Sasori finally consented. With another glare to Deidara he added, "Just get him outta here before he causes any more trouble!" And with that, the drama ended. Everyone went back to their personal conversations, watching the tube, or cheering in the drinking contest. Deidara and Tobi, meanwhile, stepped out of the house and into the cold winter night.

"Fuck!" Deidara growled as the chilly air sank into the wetted cloth of his jeans and jacket. A shiver ran up and down his spine. But even with the goose bumps plaguing his skin, he refused the warm arm Tobi silently offered to wrap around him. Revulsion or hate did not make Deidara walk away from him, however. Tobi understood why Deidara rejected the kind gesture: they were right outside the door. Once they were out of sight…

"Oi! You coming or what dumbass?" Hearing his all-but-official nickname brought a strange joy to Tobi's heart, and he skipped to join Deidara on the driveway. About ten cars lined the street, mostly big SUVs for carpooling. Since nobody felt like making a scene and getting any of the neighbor's attention, the cars were spread far apart, two in the driveway and the others in front of different houses. Upon first driving up the idea seemed ingenious. But seeing the design now, Deidara could only scowl.

This design only made things more complicated to have the cars spread around like this. Besides, this was _Sasori's_ idea. The little midget was a prodigy in the art of thinking ahead, of deception. Or maybe not thinking at all. Not thinking to care what his friends said. Not thinking to remember the years of friendship. Deciding to take the Uchiha's side instead of his. Throwing him out into the snow without—

A warm hand gripped his shoulder. He nearly jumped. "I'm sorry," Tobi's voice, so gentle and so childish, whispered in his ear. Deidara turned around, his numb hands in his back pockets.

"What you got to be sorry for?"

Despite the darkness, Tobi's guilty frown and slant of eyebrows were as clear as day. "For-for not—"

"You got nothing to be sorry for, 'kay? It's that damn Itachi's fucking fault!" Though mild, the reassurance worked in lightening Tobi's mood. "C'mon! I'm tired of staring at these Christmas lights."

Despite his car being only a few houses down, the small trip from the house to the car felt like a torturous marathon in the sub-freezing winter air and threat of black ice. If that didn't make the walk unbearable enough, the constant swaying of the earth did. Deidara cursed the ground for being so uneven and shook his head just because he felt like it—not because the alcohol was starting to get to him—and refused to take Tobi's steady hand. He wasn't for that fluffy, romantic stuff.

Tobi took the driver's seat and sat there, buckled up with gloved hands on the steering wheel, and waited eagerly yet patiently for Deidara to jump in and toss him the keys. The car smelled like pine and cigarettes. He chuckled softly at the amateur attempt of masking the scent.

A full, silent minute passed before realization finally dawned on him: Deidara _still _wasn't in the car. As he opened the door and leaned out, he immediately saw the blond leaning against the car with his arms folded over his chest and gazing up at the clear, starry sky.

Tobi blinked and unbuckled and stepped out with a bewildered stare. "Hey! What's—" But before he could finish, Deidara grabbed him by the front and pulled him closer and lower. Despite being nearly a head apart in height, the difference never came as a problem, and Tobi never complained of neck or backache. Still, it would have been nice if Deidara gave him some warning once in a while. At least now it meant they could make-out freely.

Tobi hugged Deidara's skinny frame and rubbed the blonde's back, resisting the urge to run his hand up and down underneath those layers of fabric. Deidara arched and wrapped one arm around Tobi's neck while the other hand cradled his black head to deepen the kiss. For only having it a day, Deidara worked the tongue piercing like a pro.

The taste of cigarettes and beer and metal coated their tongues as they battled, driving Tobi crazy with delight. Normally, cigarettes repulsed him; he couldn't stand the smoky smell and even went so far as to hold his breath whenever passing anyone taking a drag, fearful of dying from second-hand smoke. He had constantly begged Deidara to stop, up until tasting one indirectly. Right after mentioning the dangers of smoking to the blond for what felt like the millionth time, Deidara lit a cigarette, took a deep breath, and blew sickening smoke in Tobi's face. Caught completely off guard, it was all the boy could do not to jump and yelp when Deidara kissed him. Cigarettes had never tasted so good.

Tobi still hated cigarettes, but only those that didn't touch Deidara's slim and calloused fingers or moist, soft lips. Shortly after their first kiss Deidara stopped smoking in front of Tobi, much to the raven-haired's surprise and thanks.

They turned together as one, with Tobi's back against the car instead of Deidara's. Deidara crept a leg between both of Tobi's and leaned so much against the other he was practically _laying _on top of him. Tobi slipped a hand into Deidara's back pocket and curled a finger around the keys, still caressing Deidara's tight back with the other hand.

As quickly as it had started, it ended. Deidara stopped moving his tongue and sucked it back into his own mouth, bridging a string of spit. He didn't notice it until Tobi, smiling with ecstasy, wiped it away and tucked a loose strand of golden hair behind Deidara's ear. Deidara pushed lightly against Tobi's chest and stepped back, trying his best not to let the taller see a reddening face. He walked around the front of the car and took the passenger's seat while Tobi returned to the wheel. Neither said anything until they were out of the neighborhood.

"So does this mean the cat's out of the closet?" Tobi inquired with a smile (proud of his little twist on the old saying) as they escaped the world of candy canes, snowmen, and jolly, red, fat guys.

Deidara kept looking out the window with his chin in his hand and eyes searching desperately for a different topic. Unsuccessful, he shrugged. "I dunno."

"What do you mean by that, Deidara?"

"It _means_," he said with a sidelong glance to Tobi, "that I _don't know_."

"Jeez! So-_rry_!" the driver retaliated. "But don't you think people are going to take what you said seriously?" Silence. "I mean, you wanted it to be a secret."

"Like anyone's going to take what I said seriously. They think I'm fucking drunk!"

"Aren't you?"

Deidara shot a glare at Tobi but only met the side of a dark face and chocolate eyes glinting as they watched the road. "No," he mumbled and pressed a cheek against the cold window. The chilled glass, almost like ice itself, fogged at the outer edges of the warm skin and silent breath.

As much as he might have disliked admitting it, he _did _feel drunk. Not enough to be wasted, but not too little to make all those calories worthless. He tried calculating how long it had been since his first drink. It was two minutes after ten-thirty according to the digital clock just below the radio and temperature controls. His cerulean eyes stared intently at the blurry, green dashes, finding them so fascinating he almost missed what Tobi said next.

"Deidara," he started, sounding like an innocent child about to ask a parent for more dessert or allowance, "what you said—did you—I mean…Sasori seemed pretty mad. So was what you said, abou—"

"Left." Tobi tore his eyes from the road just long enough to make sure this was still Deidara he was talking to and not some other blond or evil twin who liked to say random words in the middle of a serious question.

"Turn left here, shithead." Yep, still Deidara sitting there looking out the window and completely ignoring the flabbergasted shock on Tobi's face.

"Why?" he inquired almost instinctively, knowing full well the kind of answer he would get.

"Because I want to." Tobi still felt a bit weary of the order; a left turn would mean going in the complete opposite direction of Deidara's house. Suddenly aware of a deadly gaze burning into his temple, he complied.

The car came to a slow halt as it neared a STOP sign glowing wildly in the headlights at a three-way. With or without any other living soul on the road, Tobi insisted on using the turn signal, much to Deidara's annoyance. The melodic clicking could drive anyone insane.

Deidara leaned away from the window and opened up the glove compartment as Tobi waited three seconds to make the turn. Inside were a pile of pine-scented air fresheners, tissues no one ever used, a flashlight, random crap, and a box.

Tobi's heart fluttered as he caught Deidara pulling out the box, the same kind one would find at jewelry stores, in the corner of his vision. His mind raced with answers to explain what the box contained: a bracelet, a ring, a necklace, tickets to a concert? Maybe it was a gift for him; it was that time of year, after all.

He could hardly contain the smile playing on his face as the anxiety overwhelmed him. But all that came crashing down when Deidara finally opened the box, revealing something entirely _opposite _to a bracelet or ring or necklace or tickets to a concert. Tobi turned his attention back to the road, a deep pout replacing the earlier grin.

Deidara barely noticed anything Tobi did as he fiddled with the contents of the box, deciding he'd wait until the car stopped moving to light it up.

"Which way now?" Tobi chirped. Deidara looked up and squinted into the bright lights of traffic signals approaching.

Deidara let out an involuntary groan. He didn't feel like thinking now, not when his brain felt so fuzzy. "Wherever," he mumbled.

"Wherever? Hmm," Tobi put a finger to his lips. "I've never heard of _that _place before. Where is it? Is it some kind of amusement park or restaurant? Sounds neat!"

The look on Deidara's face could have made _any_one feel like an idiot. But that didn't stop Tobi from beaming when they came to the red light. Half his square face was drenched in a red glow that insisted on embellishing every dimple in that smile and ever contour of his face. Slowly but surely, Deidara felt a tight pull at his cheek.

The light suddenly shifted to green and they whisked away, zooming into town on a deserted road surrounded on either side by a sheet of snow and stores. Three more traffic lights passed by overhead before they arrived at another red light and Deidara could safely reach into the box, scavenge for a lighter, and start the intoxication.

The first thing Tobi noticed was the flame, then the smoke, then the aroma. The vapor wafting out of Deidara's mouth did not smell anything like the smoke he was used to. It was something different, something worse.

Try as he might to take his eyes from the road, scold the blond and smack away whatever he had in his hand, Tobi could not bring himself to even utter a whimper. All he did was open his mouth and close it several times.

Deidara practically rammed back into the seat with a goofy, the-lights-are-on-but-nobody's-home grin plastering his face. "Deidara?" Tobi shouted with a touch of concern.

Deidara's head flopped sideways as though every muscle in his neck had given out. Golden hair, freed from a black beanie, curtained most of his face while wide eyes stared with a glistening, sultry gaze at the raven-haired teenager. In any other situation, Tobi would have greeted the expression warmly, grateful to see such a wide smile bestowed upon him. But the smile was fake, induced by artificial means. It didn't mean anything. It wasn't even really Deidara's mouth he was staring at now. Plus it looked kind of creepy.

"_Yeeees_?" The deep, masculine tone of Deidara's voice rose as he spoke (or sang, as it sounded).

The answer sent a shiver down Tobi's spine and he forced his eyes back on the road. "What—I mean," Tobi bit his lip. There was no point in asking what the box contained; he could just guess from the way Deidara acted. He dared another glance sideways and nearly jumped.

Empty sapphire orbs stared back at him, misted in intense fascination with the pale skin they traced. Suddenly, as though witnessing it for the first time, he could not take his eyes off the scarred folds marking the left side of Tobi's face. Their contours enticed him, their random patterns hypnotized him, and the way they felt when he lifted a cold hand to the blushing surface aroused him. The drugs intensified all the sensations prickling at his fingers, so that the simple act of running an index finger over the stretches and folds of soft skin transformed into pure bliss and lust. Deidara ran a wet tongue over dry lips. _He had to have it_.

"School." This time when Tobi turned to stare dumbfounded at the teen beside him, he knew it wasn't Deidara in those clothes. Still, he couldn't help but follow those orders, not after a hot tongue ran across the tense skin of his neck.

Whatever material he used to produce the high fizzled out. Deidara watched sadly as the last puff of smoke dissipated into the air from between his index and middle finger. The whine he let out nearly gave Tobi a heart attack and the idea to call an exorcist.

They arrived at the school fifteen minutes later without much incident save for Deidara's constant attempts at eating Tobi's earlobe and neck and spontaneous guffaws of excitement at bright lights and the occasional car. The school's parking lot, much like the streets, was completely barren of life. Tobi took a spot under an unlit lamp. "'Kay, Dei!" he announced. "We're he—hey!"

As soon as the car came to a stop, Deidara unbuckled and, pushing and balancing on the armrests and Tobi's shoulder, crawled backward into the backseat. The white jewelry box tumbled out of his lab and onto the floor, spilling all of its contents. Tobi twisted around in his chair and considered Deidara with an intense look of concern.

"Deidara, can we _please _go home now?" he whined. "C'mon! You've had your fun. Now come back over here so we can go."

But Deidara didn't listen. He just smiled and titled his head downward, giving Tobi the sexiest look he could manage with his mind still in a buzz. He settled his feet on the front seats' inner armrests and flapped his legs like a pair of butterfly wings in the most sensual and erotic way imaginable. "Come and get me," he soothed with a lick of his lips.

Tobi's eyes bulged, his heart pounded erratically, he began to sweat, and his breathing grew rapid. He turned back to the wheel and leaned against it for support. _This _was what Deidara wanted to go to the school for? He wanted _that_? _Now?!_

"I r-really think we should be going now, Deidara," he suggested with a nervous stutter after a minute or so, somehow managing a smile. "I-I mean, um…!"

Whatever he had to say was lost as Deidara, standing up and balancing with his stomach on the head of the driver's seat, took Tobi's jaw in his hands and captured his lips in an upside-down kiss. Tobi smashed his head against the chair out of pure shock. Deidara glared at him, un-amused.

"Tobi," he muttered sternly. "Please. Come into the back with me." The brunet blinked. Deidara looked and spoke normally again. A little groggy, but still normal. The drugs had worn off, but the alcohol and idea hadn't.

"A-a-are you s-sure, Deidara?"

The blond nodded, which looked rather awkward with all his hair dangling in the air.

"Really? Are you _really _sure?" Deidara growled in irritation. That was a yes. Tobi took a deep breath and gulped and allowed for the blond to clutch his jaw.

His heart and lungs grew steady as they kissed again, sucking gently on the other's bottom lip, tickling each other's chin as they breathed, the barbell piercing clicking against Tobi's teeth with a dull _ping_ at odd intervals. Deidara undid Tobi's jacket from where he hung and ran a cold pair of hands down the neck of his shirt. The raven-haired squirmed under the touch, fighting off a bout of giggles as goose bumps spread across his skin. Had they been a bit longer, the hands would have gone lower than just the bellybutton.

As it turned out, running ten black, well-manicured fingernails up and down Tobi's stomach and chest was all it took to get him into the right state of mind. Tobi escaped from the kisses and undid his seatbelt, finally ready to join Deidara in the back. As Tobi moved about clumsily, Deidara took a spot in the middle of the backseat.

On his way over, Tobi's foot accidentally knocked against the radio dial. Soft music, the same playing at Sasori's house, hummed through the vehicle. "Oops!" Tobi twisted around to turn off the radio, but Deidara grabbed his head before he could even glance at the station.

"Forget it," he said, and pulled Tobi into the back and into another game of twisting tongues. It was a weird position to take—Tobi kneeling on the floor between Deidara's legs and Deidara, arms around Tobi's neck, sitting comfortably on the seat. But their minds were too numb to care.

After over half an hour's worth of heat, Deidara's clothes had finally dried up. The white of his jacket sported a large yellow stain while the black and his jeans went unaltered, save for the smell. Tobi pulled away from the kiss and put a gloved hand to his mouth, ready to feel that warm skin and toned muscle underneath the folds of clothes. Deidara caught him and took the hand, nipping the middle finger and pulling off the glove with his teeth. Tobi flushed.

He unzipped Deidara's jacket slowly so to be as romantic as possible. After the small click of the teeth separating completely, Tobi leaned forward and gave Deidara a gentle kiss, pulling away before it could turn fiery. Warm, moist air slipped from between pale lips as he glided his mouth over Deidara's cheek, jaw, ear, and neck. The blond pursed his lips at the tickling heat and wriggled uncomfortably when it settled in the crook of his neck.

He grabbed Tobi's hand again and slipped it under his shirt to rest on firm, warm stomach muscles. Tobi flushed and dug into Deidara's neck, drawing an involuntary gasp from the blond. He held in a groan as the hand slowly ascended his chest, pausing to pet every muscle. The heat on his neck turned wet. Inhibitions finally failed as his bare back lightly grazed against the cold leather seat. A shock ran through him with goose bumps rippling across his skin as a quick "Ah" escaped.

"Shut it, Tobi!" He could feel the other smiling into his skin.

For the most part Deidara just sat there, letting Tobi do all the work of foreplay. He did all right, stroking him, kissing him, and making him purse his lips when he touched ticklish skin. But he was taking too long to get to the good stuff. Entertaining his upper half may have been nice, but it was his lower half that craved attention.

To speed things up a little, Deidara again took hold of Tobi's wrist and slowly dragged it across his chest, diaphragm, and stomach to come rest at his crotch. Tobi opened his brown eyes lazily and blinked, tickling Deidara's skin. He pushed down on the lump in Deidara's jeans and drew out another quick gasp. His heart pounded wildly.

Slowly he undid the zipper and button; there was no point in staling. With one quick glance to Deidara's stern countenance, as though asking for permission, he squelched the other's pulsing lust.

Deidara clenched his teeth and started to sweat in the cold air. His fingers tangled themselves in Tobi's hair as he sat straight, pulling Tobi's head with him.

The way he twirled his tongue brought on another gasp and moan from the blond. Deidara pulled him closer, shrinking into the seat as he did, simultaneously recoiling and thrusting forward.

Finally, after what felt like five straight minutes of gasping, reeling, and—he writhed—_humming_, it ended. Deidara breathed heavily in a sweat, his jacket pooled at his elbows and greatly appreciating the cool feel of the leather seat on his back. Tobi removed his mouth and pecked the blond lightly on the lips, giving him a small taste of his own seed. Deidara unconsciously licked at the touch and almost spat. Disgusting, he thought through a clouded mind.

"Deidara," Tobi whispered sweetly into his ear, breath tingling the skin. "What was that stuff? The stuff in the box," he clarified.

Deidara blinked, eyes going wide. Tobi had to ask about _that_? Was that all he had been going on in his mind while he—the blond snapped before thinking

"The fuck do you care?"

Tobi pulled back. His deep brown eyes stared into Deidara's face, hurt obviously revealed in a slanted brow.

Damn, why'd he have to be such an ass? The angry frown vanished from Deidara's face, and he quickly found it impossible to stare. With a small pout, he divulged the box's contents.

Tobi's face went from hurt to perplexed in an instant. "Isn't that stuff illegal? Where'd you get it?"

"Zetsu. That's where everyone gets it."

Tobi bit his lower lip, an even more bitter taste covering his tongue. "You could get into a lot of trouble, Deidara."

"Tch! Like I care." Silence save for the music emanating from the radio.

"Maybe you don't," said Tobi, running a hand over Deidara's cheek, "but _I do_."

Deidara glanced sidelong at the brunet and knocked the hand away. Tobi proceeded to give the grouch a warm hug. "Stop it," Deidara mumbled, almost too low for even himself to hear.

"I love you, Deidara. I don't want to see anything bad happen to you." And then something unexpected happened: arms crept around Tobi's back and squeezed; hands gripped tightly at his jacket. Tobi's grip on the other increased and he sighed contentedly.

The hands slowly released and fell. They fell without Tobi's notice until reaching and tugging at his belt loops. He didn't refuse the touch or the request.

After everything slipped to his knees Deidara found Tobi's hand again and stuck two fingers in his mouth. Tobi turned red at the strong sucking and licking motions Deidara made to coat his fingers in saliva. "Don't you think we should, um, use some protection or something?" he asked with a childish smile.

A light nip answered Tobi's question. "I'm not a fucking _girl_, idiot!" Deidara bit Tobi's finger again, harder.

"Ow! Jeez, I was just asking."

Deidara snorted. He could have continued the argument—it sounded like a fun one—but that would have just ruined the mood, which was already on its last legs.

When he thought the fingers to be lubricated enough, he released them and slid down in the seat until almost horizontal and put his feet up on the heads of the two front chairs. Tobi did as suggested and prepared the blond. Deidara shut his eyes tightly at the stretching pain, and then clenched his jaw as a dainty touch brushed against that _one spot_. Tobi brushed over it again just to be sure. The same reaction. He grinned mischievously.

After scissoring his fingers, Tobi removed his hand and, taking a deep breathe, positioned himself. He came as soon as he entered. Embarrassed, he sputtered an apology.

"Don't be," Deidara cooed. He grabbed Tobi's head and kissed him gently. "That was absolute bliss," he lied with a reassuring and seductive grin.

Still, Tobi promised to clean up the mess. "Later!" Deidara urged and hugged Tobi's back, drawing him closer. Tobi took the invisible hint and fully entered the blond. A pleasure ran through them. It wasn't as great as it _could _have been, but satisfactory enough to be worthwhile.

Deidara bit back a groan while Tobi let loose. He hummed to the tune of arousal and the song playing on the radio—a popular song these days. Somehow it matched their situation, at least in Tobi's mind. Deidara, meanwhile, was too absorbed in getting Tobi hard to notice the lyrics. He captured Tobi's lips and tongue, then cheek and neck, sucking and nipping at the ivory flesh. Tobi did the same to the other's pinkish skin.

They both let out a low moan as Tobi grew ready again, pushing against Deidara's pleasure point. "May I?" Tobi whispered into Deidara's neck. The blond nodded, unable to open his mouth without risking a whimper.

The brunet pulled back and slid in, pulled back and slid in, pulled and slid, over and over. "_Fuuuuck!_" Deidara growled, gripping the edge of the gray leather seat.

Tobi took the growl to be a moan of delight when it truth it was a realization that saliva just didn't cut it. He went faster and rammed into the blond, hitting his prostate. White dots suddenly followed by black dots formed before blue eyes half-closed in a painful ecstasy. He swore again, drawing out the word in a moan. A smile played across Tobi's sweaty and strained face. He worked harder, finding a sudden enjoyment in the way the blond writhed under him. Different emotions and expressions contorted Deidara's face. Gritted teeth, a smirk, a pink tongue running quickly across thin, wide lips; scrunched eyelids, wide pupils, a lackadaisical droop to thick eyelashes; sweat, strain, saliva.

All the cold in the car was suddenly replaced with an all-encompassing heat. The air filled with the smell of sweat, cigarettes, alcohol, and pine. Deidara escaped from the remainder of his jacket and helped in removing Tobi's. With one final kiss, a simple one of connected lips, they reached a climax. Tobi came a few seconds after Deidara.

He panted and fell against the other. Their hearts beat against one another's chest, now and then pumping simultaneously. If not for their buzzing minds, they may have noticed this and found some sort of poetic meaning in it.

Tobi's head rested on Deidara's shoulder. Deidara's chin rested on Tobi's back. Blond strands stuck to his forehead, the black beanie lying somewhere on the floor.

When he finally caught his breath, Tobi removed himself from Deidara and pulled his pants up. He fell against the blond again and, after helping him zip up his fly and sit up properly, hugged him. He kissed the other's forehead and eyelids and nose.

"What did," the blond gulped down saliva, "you want to ask me earlier?"

Tobi blinked. Through the fuzz of a numbed mind fresh with the thoughts of a lost virginity, he recalled their earlier conversation and the question he'd been yearning to ask. He smiled guiltily. "Did—what you said about Sasori…" he lifted his eyes off the other's chest and rested a pair of chocolate orbs on a single blue sphere. He tucked the fringe of golden hair behind Deidara's ear. "What you said, about having your dick up Sasori's ass, was it true?"

Rather than the venomous response he predicted, the blond just stared and blinked once, slowly. Then a crude, almost devilish smirk curled at the corner of his wide mouth. "That's for me to know and for you to never find out."


End file.
